EJD #4

16:04 Those who are upright and honorable just do what needs to be done.  Thank you to everyone tending to LIFE on the gulf coast.  You are true heroes.

The labour of the righteous tendeth to life.
~ Proverbs 10:16

15:57 There are a lot of really good spiritual presentations here.  What I like most is how ecumenical the author is.  Some of my favorites are: mindfulness, shikantaza, prayer, and a touch of zen.

13:29 How appropriate that I just came across this quote from a mailing list I’m on.  It sums it up pretty well for me right now.

"Sit with your doubts and with your feeling of being un-Enlightened for a while, though, and you'll discover something amazing about what all that doubt and un-Enlightenment really is".
~ Unknown

13:27 I just realized the title of this post is a bit jumbled. It should be ‘EDJ’ (Experimental Daily Journal).  Oh well, no matter.

I’ve got some fear surrounding the fact that I’ll be doing a full weekend Sesshin beginning this Friday night.  My sitting practice has just about been non-existent.  My mind wants me to believe that I won’t be able to handle the many 40 minute sitting periods the weekend will offer.  This is not true of course.  I will be able to “handle” them, and more.  Meeting the present moment is never hard to do.  What makes it “hard” is the fear, uncertainty and doubt that my egoic mind just LOVES to manufacture.  Relax and witness.  That’s all I have to do this weekend. Relax and witness the present moment as it is.

09:22 My practice lately has consisted more of a “doing practice” than of a “sitting practice”.  I’m actually getting to be comfortable with this.  I still feel small pangs of guilt when, lying there in bed at the end of the day, I realize I didn’t sit.  But when I can look back on the activities of that day that I brought a deep mindfulness to, the guilt just seems to dissipate.  

In almost everything I do during the day I’m trying to bring as much mindfulness and attention that my mind and body can muster.  I’m far from perfect in this, but just the intention to notice my wandering attention and bring it back to the task at hand is enough for me today.  Acceptance is also an integral part of my training these days.

08:45 The drive in to work this morning was especially frustrating.  For some reason every jerk and idiot decided to either tailgate me from behind or cut me off from in front.  I used it as an opportunity to work with the anger that immediately welled up inside me whenever an incident occurred. I did a LOT of conscious breathing and bringing myself back to the present moment to get through it.